Why Jesus is Better Than Cake

Why Jesus is Better Than Cake

I want to have my cake and eat it too. I DON’T want to share it with ANYONE. I want it all to myself because I’m selfish. It’s my worst quality and the one area where I still have much work to do. One of many areas.

As I grow and go on with God He gently guides and teaches and as I listen and follow, my clenched hands open and what I’m grasping tight He teaches me to give.  He brought this home in a profound way years ago and I’ve never forgotten the lesson. It’s this:

Just because a blessing falls into your lap doesn’t mean it’s always yours to keep. 

If you follow my blog you know I’ve written quite a bit about my struggles with infertility and raising an only child. I write often about how God allows in His wisdom what He could prevent with His power. But I’ve never shared this particular story until today. It’s pressing hard on my heart so maybe someone needs to hear it. In fact, I wasn’t even planning on publishing this today but here goes.

There are times when it looks like your dream has come true but you come to find it’s not actually for you. You’ve been chosen to be the conduit, the channel of blessing  in another’s life. It’s not an easy lesson but one we’ll all be taught if we want to go deep with God. Here’s how it happened for my husband Mike and me.

Twenty years ago Mike and I were still in the throes of raising our young daughter. We’d moved to Florida a couple years earlier and after battling infertility and three failed adoption attempts, we got it into our thick heads we would be raising an only child.

We were taking a class at our church and became friends with another couple who were in our exact same circumstances–raising one daughter and unable to have more children.

At the same time, other good friends of ours were in Hungary adopting a baby girl. They too had waited years for their dream to come true and we were thrilled for them. They were finally going to have a baby in their arms!

One evening, the phone rings and it’s our friends, in Hungary, calling us. They’re excited to share how everything is moving smoothly with the adoption. Then they drop this bombshell. They tell us there’s a young, unmarried woman who’s about to have a baby, a boy, (my dream) and she’s placing him for adoption and looking for an American family. They tell us he’s our baby if we want him. 

Oh, how my mama-heart leapt in that moment! My hopes and dreams coming true in one phone call! Except right in that moment I heard the Lord say this:

“That’s not your baby.”

“Wait. What? Are you sure Lord? I’ve been waiting a long time for this!”

“That’s not your baby.”

I don’t usually hear God’s voice so clearly in my spirit. There are a few times I have, like the time He told me to write a book. When I do hear Him it’s always life-changing.

“That’s not your baby.”

And I knew it was true. I knew this baby was the son our friends from church had been praying for.

God let our biggest blessing become our deepest test.

We hung up the phone and I shared what I was sensing with Mike and he felt exactly the same way. So we called our friends from church and told them the news, connected them with our friends in Hungary and soon after they went and got their son.

Just because a blessing falls into your lap doesn’t always mean it’s yours to keep. 

A few months later they dedicated their son at church and Mike and I were on the platform as part of the celebration. I looked at this beautiful child, this perfect baby boy, this answer to prayer, and it broke me. It was so hard but so right. Harder than almost anything I’ve ever done. I cried a lot that day but God assured me over and over it was right.

Doing the right thing doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It will be very hard. Sometimes gut-wrenching hard.

If I’d simply trusted in my feelings or followed my heart I never would have given that baby up. But feelings lie. My heart, and yours too is not to be trusted. The world tells us to follow our hearts but God says something altogether different:

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

My heart has deceived me countless times. Usually with something good I can justify. But good is the enemy of the best every time. Jesus wasn’t led by His feelings. He only did and said what He saw the Father do or heard Him say.

“Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. “John 5:19

For I have not spoken on My own authority; but the Father who sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak.” John 12:49

I’m learning to lay down my ‘feelings’ for the joy of living a Spirit-led life! It says in Romans 8:14: “Those who are led by the Spirit are sons of God.” Sonship speaks of maturity and authority, two things I desperately need.

You know, as I get older, I really want God to take me into the ‘deeper deeps’ of knowing Him. It’s far better to partake in the ‘fellowship of His sufferings’ because only through the doorway of His cross can we experience the power of His resurrection. It’s all about love in the end. Being willing to be broken bread and poured out wine in another’s life, willing to become a channel of blessing to bring someone else’s dream to pass.

Following Jesus and letting go of our feelings will cost us but in the end aren’t we called to relinquish our right to be right? Our right to have rights? We get the chance every so often to leave the fragrance of Christ behind.

I haven’t arrived. I’m still grasping all of my cake and I don’t want to share it. But I want Jesus even more than my cake. He alone can transform my deceitful and wicked heart into a channel of love and blessing and a spring of living water.

He alone can give me the desire of my heart and then ask me to give it away. And when I do, when I share my cake, I become more like Him. And what I’ve learned is this:

He is so much better than cake.


  1. Clark says

    Kate. Thank you for sharing your story. I know in my heart that God is still using you as a conduit in other ways including leading me to you so through your blog I can read and hear things I need In my life. I will never be able to thank you enough, but know I have gained a lot from you. God Bless!

    • Kate says

      I’m really glad to hear that Clark. God has His ways of leading us to just what we need at exactly the right moment. Bless you too friend :)

    • Kate says

      Thank you so much sweet friend! I am honored to be called Mama Kate :) It’s gratifying to know the lessons I learned can be a blessing to a younger mom and hopefully help her avoid my mistakes. Blessings!

  2. says

    Oh sweet Kate, I’ve been there time and time again. In fact, as the mom of an only child who at one point was so excited about the potential blessing of adoption – only to find that my role would be to support others rather than have a child in my own home – I feel every single thread of emotion in this post. Yes yes yes. Jesus IS so much better than cake.

    • Kate says

      He truly is Ronne. No matter what He’s brought me through in these years of knowing Him, nothing equals one moment in His presence. He takes us out to bring us in. {{Hugs!}}

  3. Liz says

    Oh, sweet friend, this spoke to my heart this morning. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for almost 5 years now, and still no baby – the one child we had, we lost. As we watch all of our friends effortlessly have multiple children, it is hard to see what kind of plan God has behind our suffering, but we are slowly unclenching those fists and letting Him take the reigns. It’s been a long, hard road, but in the midst of this valley we’ve never felt closer to Him. (Actually, I was thinking about that as I was listening to your daughter’s music the other day LOL.)

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us! :)

    • Kate says

      Sweet Liz, just know He has a good plan for you and your husband. He has you out in the ‘deeper deeps’, a hard place to be but it’s where He teaches us so much. It’s where we learn to want Him for who He is instead of for what He can give us. I’m praying He touches you deeply and brings you comfort today. Hugs & blessings :)

  4. says

    i do so appreciate the biblical foundations from which you speak about your feelings, your blessings, and following your heart. it’s a keeper, and one i will read again and again, especially in the world culturally that says “follow your heart” in every little detail of life. may we all speak up, stand out, and be mature in following God’s heart for each and every one of us.

    • Kate says

      Thank you so much Leslie. His foundation of truth is our only solid ground. Grateful for your words today–you clearly ‘get it’. Blessings!

  5. says

    Thanks for sharing your story. It is encouraging and a reminder to live with hands always open and that we who are filled up with Christ can pour out all He gives since we already are full.

    Recently I led a study on the gospel of Mark and can’t stop thinking about the miracle of the loaves and fishes. Really thinking through what it was like. I imagine each time Jesus broke the loaf, he gave a whole one away, and broke another whole one, and the multiplication kept happening, and I think the disciples given the whole loaf broke it, and gave a whole loaf each time they extended their hand. Isn’t that such a beautiful picture?

    I love that the woman called you Mama Kate… Isaiah 54 comes to mind…more are the children of the barren woman… whose husband is God. <3 And Hebrews 11… faith looks heavenward. So thankful to have met you Kate. Blessed by your words, and your life. xo

    • Kate says

      I love this Kathy! What a beautiful picture of who Jesus is! I appreciate your kind words deeply my friend. Blessings!

  6. Sonja says

    I read this late last night & it really encouraged me! I have had many losses in life, the death of my mom at age 13, which ultimately brought me to The Lord, two separations of my marriage (we are still together) , not able to have children & a no on adoption, lost dreams, betrayal from a friend, falsely accused, yet in all theses there has always been lessons to learn & blessing of Jesus’ comfort. My walk with God has deepened & I truly appreciate all He has done for me & in me. In the last year, I have clearly heard His voice like you did, & the battle of my feelings vs what was the better thing to do raged on. I’m happy to say that Jesus helped me have the victory over my thoughts & feeling! Thank you for sharing this story. I’m sure many people battle with feelings. I usually don’t leave comments, but this time I had to! May our Lord keep inspiring you!

    • Kate says

      Oh Sonja, your words are a blessing to me and I’m sure your story is an encouragement to so many! It’s in the dark times and the times or testing when we really learn just who our God is. I’m so glad He is bringing you through and giving you the victory! Blessings :)

  7. says

    Awesome post and one that is definitely timely for me! God has been saying the exact same thing to me…. “Just because a blessing falls into your lap doesn’t always mean it’s yours to keep.”

    I am definitely sharing this blog with others! Thanks again for your post!

  8. Brooke says

    Thanks for sharing Kate and opening your heart up. It is definitely an encouragement and powerful reminders. I bless you!

  9. Mollianne says

    ‘Doing the right thing doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It will be very hard. Sometimes gut-wrenching hard.’ Oh, Kate! I’m treading through such a season of hard. No…I’m not treading, I’m trudging. Gut-wrenching hard. Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your story.

    • Kate says

      You’re so welcome Mollianne. I’m praying The Lord will lighten your load. You know he’s right there trudging along side you. {{Hugs}}

  10. Linda Maratas says

    I love what you share…so honest and heartfelt. I really appreciate your beautiful heart for God. I also appreciate how lovingly you respond to those who write comments. You are a gift and a joy!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>