I almost titled this post, To know and not to do means not really to know because I say all the right Christian words but I don’t always do what I know to do. I truly want to follow in His footsteps and live to bring glory to His name, but do I? Do I choose to live low and selflessly put others first, am I walking the narrow road?
I’ve noticed some things lately, trends maybe, leading me to conclude this:
We are careless.
It may not be intentional but for many of us our standards reflect the world and not the Word.
Let me say at the outset, the first place I see this is in my own heart. I’m not immune to the ways of the enemy even though I strive to live a life others can point to and follow. But I’m far from perfect.
As I’ve thought about this, I’ve come up with a list of ten ways we’re careless with our Christianity.
1–Worry. I struggle with worry. A lot. I worry about the future, the present, my family, our business, if our house will ever sell, etc.. If you can name it, I can worry about it. But the truth is, worry is infidelity. Worry says to God, you don’t have my back, you’re not intimately involved in every detail of my life, you don’t care as much as I do. In fact, worry is the polar opposite of trust.
2–Self-pity. When I begin to wallow my husband is faithful to point out self-pity is my ‘favorite bad feeling’. I don’t like it at all when he reminds me but he is completely right. Self-pity puts what I want but don’t have on the throne. Here’s what I know that I know about God: He’ll strip us before He clothes us. He’ll take us to the low place before He exalts us. He’ll bankrupt us before He blesses us. I can whine or let Him crush my grapes into wine.
3–Offense. Offense is a slick, demonic trap and trust me in this: if you can be offended you will be offended. Eliminating offense is a tough one for me as I’ve been challenged in it several times this year. I’ve had legitimate reasons to be deeply offended. But God doesn’t let me linger there for long. Oh, we Christians are super good at forgiving, seventy times seven and all that, because the church teaches us well. What they don’t teach is the trap of offense. We can forgive but we do not forget and often hold the sin against our offender for years. We see them at the grocery store and quickly go down a different aisle. We see them at church and sit all the way over on the other side to avoid them. We forgive but we want nothing to do with them because of how they hurt us. We refuse to let them go.
We hold the hurt deep and bitterness grows and poisons our well of living water, polluting everything it touches.
Offense moves quick as lightning into judgment. The truth is, whatever judgement I use against you will come back to me. The law of sowing & reaping is absolute, just like gravity, and it works whether I believe in it or not. There’s only one way to remove the poison of offense and that’s through repentance.
When I acknowledged I’d fallen into the trap of offense I asked the Lord to show me every person in my life against whom I held offense. There were lots. You don’t want to know. But I repented and spoke blessing and forgiveness over each one. It was hard and it took time but it was freeing. Nowhere in scripture are we allowed to take revenge. Judgement is never justified and if I sow judgement I will reap it in my own life. Bitter roots grow bitter fruit and defile many. Offense is sin and a thief and it will steal your peace. Holding onto offense will hold you back. Elsa from Frozen has the best advice for the trap of offense: Let it go!
4–Money and Position. How we handle our money is the touchstone of our character. It grieves me so when I hear of yet another Christian business owner who hasn’t done the right thing financially. I’m convinced, and I know this from experience, you don’t really know someone until money or position enters the picture. Just watch a close family break apart when a death occurs and there’s stuff to divide, it can get ugly quick. Or watch someone fight their way to the top doing whatever they can to get there, even if it involves slander or gossip, lies or betrayal. Trust me, it’s painful to be on the receiving end of that. If you are may I remind you of number three above.
5–Living like the world. I thought we were supposed to be different? Aren’t we supposed to look and sound different, act differently from the world? The bible is black and white, there are no shades of gray! Are we willing to lose our ‘cool’ status to maintain our witness? To say no to sex and profanity riddled movies or drinking in public if it might cause a brother to stumble? What about having sex before marriage? Are we willing to be identified with Christ in every area of life?
I can deny Him with my behavior just as easily as with my words.
6–Lack of integrity. We aren’t the same people on Monday we tell our pastor we are on Sunday. We say we’re going to do something and then don’t do it. Our word isn’t our bond and we can’t be trusted to follow through. We break commitments, we ignore vows yet we wonder why our circumstances don’t change.
7–Living like we’re disqualified. Are you letting the sins of your past determine your future? Do you believe the truth of what God says about you? We tell God He can’t use us because of past mistakes and we disqualify ourselves. We remind Him of all we’ve done, forgetting what He did for us. He died to give us newness of life, a future and a hope. Know this: you’re not disqualified, you’re forgiven.
8–Not letting Jesus pick. We convince ourselves we’re the masters of our fate. We hold tightly to our right to be right and our right to the life we desire. What if God has a different plan, one you can’t even imagine? You may want a family but what if instead He wants to give you a nation? What if He wants your hands and feet to serve the poor in obscurity? What if He says it’s enough for now to raise your children well and leave career aspirations behind? What if you’re a raging introvert but He calls you to public life? Does He get to pick? Does the one who gives you your breath get to decide your path? Will you hold tightly onto what you think you want or will you open your fists and hold lightly the desires of your heart ?
9–Fear. Fear is a lying spirit and we have to do the opposite of what it’s whispering to our minds. Fear will stop your dream in its tracks and paralyze your future. The best advice I can give you is the same three words I gave my daughter when she was growing up: Do It Afraid. But do it. Don’t let the devil steal your dreams.
10–idolatry. The biggest idol I see today? Self. That includes my self, I’m hardly immune. I want my ways, my worship, my will, my time, my treasure–whatever I think will satisfy more than God. We have lots of idols, food, sex, money, those are obvious. What about children or family members? If we put them ahead of our relationship with Christ He says in Matthew 10:37 that we are not worthy of Him. We idolize our time and our work, our money and our recreation, our platforms and our priorities. The root of this is sin because we’re really saying “God, you aren’t enough.”
Orange Chicken–Gluten Free
Oh, Kate…this is good. I mean, I no likey so much, but these are words I need to hear.
You just preached a word or ten ;).
xo
Thank you friend. The hard truths are usually the best ones, ones I need to hear every day! Hugs!
This list wil be printed and carried with me as a constant reminder. Kate you have an uncanny way of knowing what I need to hear and hitting me between the eyes. Tears I am experiencing right now are a good thing. Thanks so much. You are appreciated more than you will ever know!
I’m glad the list resonated with you Clark. It takes commitment and a lot of prayer to walk the narrow road. Blessings!
Some of these things seem to really come from a deep place of reflection, but others do not.
For example, the Scriptures do not tell us to “not be offended.” Indeed, were many Christians to take great offense at the things they witness – and not be afraid to challenge them – a great many more works might be done in us, and through us, and through the churches we attend.
The carrying of a deep offense because of a sinful practise that is continuing, pushed many saints and martyrs of old to take a firm and loud stand against the thinking of this world, and that Christian who was deeply offended by something awful, who did not let go of that sense of offense, often brought the truth, light and power of Christ into the situation.
Our churches are much in need of such persons
“Think of Tyndale, who was profoundly offended that the Scriptures were purposefully hidden from all but a few elitely schooled persons. His deep sense of offense led him to translate the Scriptures into English for the first time, making them available to the British people in the form of the King James Bible a couple of years after his execution. Most of the translation of the English-written Bible, to this day, was Tyndale’s, and the number of people who’ve been blessed by this man who was offended to the core of his being and never stopped being offended, simply cannot be numbered.
He also suffered horribly. But his reward in eternity, I am sure, is great.
So, when someone tells me to “not be offended” they may actually be quenching the Spirit, and telling me to do and feel something that the Spirit is not indicating. Offense should not be held for trivial matters; “love is not easily offended, ” wrote the Apostle Paul. I am not in favor of people holding grudges over small things, but there is a place for offense. Often, churches and fellowships break up because a sin is not dealt with properly, and the offense that people feel, ought to be dealt with, and vindicated, but nothing is done. No one likes this job of handling offenses, and we have learned to simply say “Don’t be offended.” THis is not necessarily Biblical advice. We need the Spirit’s help in discerning such situations, because Christians languish and sin thrives, when real offenses are not addressed, either in a church, a family, or in a person’s individual life.
However, I truly believe the reason that many Christians feel no offense towards anything is because they don’t care. Their sole aim is a peaceful and prosperous life, and they have taken Jesus and His “born again” life to mean nothing more than well-being and protection for their own families, and their own concerns. They don’t want their sense of comfort touched. They don’t want to go into places or situations that would bring inconvenience of any sort. So, Kate is right on target if this is what she meant. And, yes, their priority is their own family. The verses which Kate included here, where Christ states that anyone who loves family more than Him is not worthy of Him, are rarely quoted in our churches. “Family” and the concerns of family, are often the central focus in many of our churches.
How very wrong this is, yet it has become a huge part of church culture, to regard the family more highly than Christ, and to be concerned with the problems of family, rather than to consider the things of Christ, which might entail serving those outside of one’s family.
I think of a woman I know who is suffering in a nursing home. I have begged another woman in my church to visit her, because she lives close to her, but she will not. Yet, this Christian woman will spend the entire Bible study time, in church, praying about the concerns of her own family. But there is no love in her heart for anyone outside her family.
This is a person who, perhaps, made a “born-again” commitment to Christ at some point, but then remained stunted and small. Long as we are concerned only for the things of ourselves, we will remain small in Christ.
Few people in the church will go to great lengths to say anything or to help another Christian, if their own comfort is affected by it. And there will be few rewards in heaven, for these folks. We are to produce the works of Christ if we know Him.
While we do not earn our way to heaven by our works, we will receive our eternal rewards in heaven based upon our response – or lack of it – and how we’ve used the things which God has bestowed upon us. “Faith without works is dead,” wrote James, the brother of our Lord. When there is no change in the heart, and good works in Christ do not describe a person who claims to be “born again” there will also be few eternal rewards for such a person. And we are told, by the Apostle Paul, to go after those rewards and lay up our treasure in heaven.
No offense, no feeling for others, no action, no rewards.
A person must really get into the Scriptures, pray, and ask God for His help, if they are to affect this world. Memorization of Scriptures is essential for anyone who would affect their world for Christ. If we ask the Lord to make us useful to others, He will! And, when the answers to such a prayer come, this answer may come with hardship and persecution, as well..
The Lord’s will is not that we Christian should walk about never offending or being offended – because there is sometimes very good reason, both to offend and to take offense.
So, I think some of the things that Kate wrote, perhaps, require a little more reflection and are written a little simplistically, although I do feel she loves the Lord and her thoughts are genuine and good.
Hi Valerie–thank you for your thoughtful comment. I agree that there is much in our culture that’s highly offensive but that’s not what I was trying to point out. It’s the personal offenses, the grudges and unforgiveness we hold against others that I personally had been dealing with, not the offense against the wrongs we see in society. I don’t believe it’s ever right to hold offense against another person who has wronged us, even when the world would tell us offense is justified. However, I agree with you 100% that we need more christians to stand up and call out those things in our world that offend God daily. Blessings to you!