I woke up early today before sunrise to the noise of the mowers outside mowing away in the still dark Georgia morning. I got up to close the window, got back in bed and pulled the covers over my head to drown out the noise. I snuggled down into the warmth and slipped right into a dream.
I was with some young women my daughter’s age and we were talking and catching up. One girl was telling me about her marriage and how it was distinctly different than what the bridal magazines had led her to believe. The other was getting older and remained unmarried. She was desperate for a husband and children. As we talked I knew I wanted to pray for them and share my heart and the perspective that comes with age.
I was praying for the girl who wanted marriage and kids and I felt God say to me,
“She wants a husband and sons but what she doesn’t know is, I want to give her a nation.”
I was stunned, absolutely stunned by His remark. Then I woke up. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks that He wants so much more for us than we can ever begin to dream up. We think we know what we want, it’s what we’re supposed to want, right? Isn’t marriage and motherhood our highest goal? It’s a worthy goal but is it for every one of us?
Hmmm. Maybe we set our sights too low. Do we want what the world romanticizes because we don’t set our sights on Him? Because we don’t want Him enough? Don’t we know the only thing in this world ever able to truly satisfy us is Him?
We prove we don’t know by whining, complaining, regretting, seeking everything to satisfy but Him. I wanted so badly to ask her in my dream, what if God asked you to lay down your desires and risk everything on Him? Would you trust Him enough? What if He didn’t have a husband and family for you but instead something entirely different yet completely wonderful that you didn’t plan on? Would you believe Him enough? What if the path He has is a narrow one, one that flies in the face of everything our culture says you should want, do you love Him enough to walk it?
He asks a simple question, the same one He asks me:
Am I enough?
He has an answer for that. The exact same answer He gave Moses centuries before in a barren desert by a burning bush.
“I AM.”
His ways are not my ways. The older I get the more I know it’s true. He pries open the box I’ve carefully constructed for Him and slips right out, uncontainable, unboxable. He floods my soul with His truth and His bigness and the revelation He knows exactly what I need.
The only way I can save my future is to lose it in Him. I only know one way to do that. Spend time in His presence. Spend time in worship and the Word. There’s no other way and I find the more I do it, the more ‘enough’ He becomes.
Look at your dreams. They are good and righteous I’m sure. But maybe, just maybe, He has a different path in mind for you precious one. Don’t forget, He created you before the foundation of the world and He knows exactly where He wants to take you. It might look different than you think. In fact, He might want to give you a nation.
He’s asking you today the same question He asks me.
“Am I enough?”
Please share your thoughts. Your comments are always such an amazing blessing to me. And, as always, I would be honored to pray for you in whatever area you’re needing Him to be enough.
Dear Kate, as divorce papers sit in my closet, I sit here still longing for a Christ centered marriage. My husband left me and had now petitioned for a divorce. I feel I have done everything but get on my hands and knees and beg. However, companionship is still my deepest desier. Reading this post brings sadness to my heart. Yes, you are right what God has for us or calls us to do will ultimately bring the most peace and joy. But, why does he give some of us or a lot of us rather a great longing for love. I feel I can still serve God and have this gift. I am going to be 32 soon and yes I feel like I am getting older and older and who will want a divorced woman with a 3 year old. Please pray for me. I am in self pity and I am brokenhearted. I pray that God will give me this gift but that also I will not make it an idol. Thank you Kate.
Amanda–please forgive my slow response. We’ve just moved recently and I finally have internet access. I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. I truly believe we all have a longing for love, God is love and we are created in His image. But not all of us love the way He created us to. Your desire is perfectly human and normal, God designed us for marriage and that’s why divorce is such a hard, tragic event. I will be praying for you that God will restore your marriage but if that isn’t possible, that He will bring joy to your heart. Hold tightly to Jesus, He is the anchor for your soul my friend. Blessings:-)
hey
i needed this today, thank you
You’re so welcome! Blessings 🙂
Am I supposed to toss or burn my wedding dress and desires to be a wife? I’m not even engaged or dating anyone yet I have a wedding dress. Am I supposed to toss it all away ? 🙁
Amanda, my best advice would be to focus your eyes on Christ as He will fulfill more than any relationship ever could. Fall in love with Him and He will direct you and give you the desires of your heart. But He is jealous for you. He adores you and created you for a special purpose which may or may not include marriage. Our job is merely to trust and follow where He leads. I’m praying He gives you perfect peace in this coming year. Blessings xoxo
I don’t want want he has given me, singleness is not a gift. I don’t want it
why would the woman want a nation? why would anyone want a nation? How would she experience the love and intimacy that we all long for from a nation?
Hi Roy, thanks for your comment. What I think the Lord was trying to convey to me is sometimes His will for us is much bigger than we realize. The need for people to be willing to lay down their lives and hopes and dreams in missions is always huge. I believe God wants to ‘give us nations’ in order to bring the Gospel to those who don’t have it, just as important a call as marriage and family. Blessings!
I read this blog years ago and couldn’t find it for awhile. Randomly stumbled across it just now.
I used to believe and have this kind of crazy high faith. But, in the last 6 years now I’ve learned this:
That life isn’t about our desires, we need to deny them. What sucks is that for someone that desires to be a good mother, still not good enough. She didn’t want to be a CEO or have money, she just wants a family. Still have to give it up. Ask me but that plain sucks, can hurt.
Secondly, the prosperity gospel and things like “get your hopes up” sets people up for disappointment. It doesn’t help much to tell people God has nations for them. He desires all men to be saved, but the majority don’t make heaven. I’m sure he wills and cares, but if there is NO change or help then it’s pointless. I can hope all I want, but if there is no action or no words at least it’s pointless.
Thirdly, it’s more about problems and trials to shape us. Doesn’t that sound like a jab? Compared to the prosperity gospel. Hardship, trials, problems. Can you hang onto your faith still despite all of this? Can you still believe God is good and he loves you? I failed this, but have gotten back up.
Maybe fourth and lastly,
I can hope and wish and wait all day for God to give me something. We work, we buy the food, or make the food and give thanks. We don’t sit at the table and wait for food to magically appear. Life’s about going after it too. Too many good intentioned people have no idea what they are talking about and give wrong advice.
I am not naive towards God and this life anymore. I thought I would have something, I was set up to believe he would deliver and give us the impossible and the greatest things ever. Then I realized it’s more spiritual and healing. Even that has been delayed.
If God blesses you, great. I believe it. But life isn’t about posting on facebook or giving feel good stories online. This world is broken. Dying and in pain. It’s painful for believers, how much more for those who don’t have anyone to go to, or those that don’t know God listens? It can feel horrible and is assisine to do this in front of others.
Sorry if this offends anyone. I doubt someone will have an answer but if you do thank you.
Jonathan–Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I’ve been digesting them for a few days and just now responding. The point of my post was to encourage others to remember God gets to choose our future. Life is hard, it’s full of disappointment, unfulfilled dreams, and difficult seasons. But no matter what, the more we keep our eyes focused on Jesus Christ, the more we fall in love with Him and accept His will for our lives. Knowing God, sensing His presence through the Holy Spirit, hearing His voice is what keeps me going during the tough seasons and I’ve had my share. All I can tell you is, nothing this world offers will ever satisfy my soul the way knowing Him does. This lyric from Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus pretty much sums it up for me: “And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glorious grace.” I’m praying for you today that you will sense His presence and hear His voice more clearly than ever before. He loves you so much and cares deeply about your life! Blessings to you Jonathan and a very merry Christmas!
Yeah I wasn’t trying to attack you it’s an awesome blog and message. I was just telling more of my own frustrations and things I’ve learned seen and dealt with is all. Thank you I hope it gets better
No worries! There’s always a point to our pain, even when we don’t understand it at the time. Praying He draws you ever closer to His heart! Blessings!